fillers or aus i would love to play running list; if you're interested in any of this, throw up a starter and i am there
steve + peggy
Peggy and Steve's reunion when he returns to the past.
That dance scene. /sobs
Anything about their life afterward.
steve + tony
Conversations about Peggy or Howard, or anything else they'd talk about during their 2-man mission to the past
First time Steve and Tony interact after Tony calls Steve out on how failing together sucks.
Did Steve and Tony ever talk during those 5 years? If so, what did that look like?
[au] Tony survives, but Steve doesn't know that when he goes back in time. So now Steve is really old and Tony is not.
[au] Tony survives and Steve comes back from returning the stones and they rebuild their relationship
steve + natasha
Awful life at Avengers compound before Ant-Man, basically lots of hurt/comfort with each other
[au] When Steve tells Natasha that maybe they should both move on, he asks her out on a date — it becomes a very sad attempt at moving on, but it's also a sad kind of solace.
steve + bucky
Honestly, they barely got any time back together. Steve and Buck MUST have talked before Steve just decided to go back in the past. Possible convo where he admits he's not coming back, and asking Bucky if he wants to return back to their time with him?
steve + anyone
So ... you can so Mjolnir now?
Conversations with various characters when he returns the stones to their rightful place in the past
Someone insisting on going back in time with Steve, and they return all the stones together and this person convinces Steve to come back (or, is convinced that he really doesn't want to)
shuri + anyone
Rebuilding the world from Wakanda
Meeting the other avengers
One-uping our science bros during reconstruction :D
tony stark (AI) + morgan/anyone
I imagine this will be mostly sass.
And with everyone who is not Morgan, this will basically be him joking about how he's going to live forever.
[ Steve smiles when Tony says he's stronger than he's willing to admit. Honestly, Steve isn't entirely there yet. He feels like he only walked away for her, and the life she should've had, but at least he's not willing to argue with Tony about that. Plus, some part of him likes hearing Tony say that he's strong.
But that comment about Peggy makes Steve's eyebrows lift in surprise. The two of them had never talked about Peggy much. He listens to the right though, smiling again at the end.
And his answer, Steve just nods, eyes skeptical but hopeful, before he adds: ] And after that I want to know more about how many times Peggy's saved you.
[ He doesn’t blame Steve for being curious; after all, he doesn’t know to the degree Peggy had been involved in his life. When he says he wants to know more about that, Tony chuckles softly under his breath. ] Okay.
For a long time I didn’t think I’d ever find anyone I’d be able to find anyone that...you know. I could make this work with. Pepper and I tried a few times, and don’t get me wrong. She has always meant a lot to me. But ultimately it just never fully worked. We wanted different things; she wanted me to step back from being Iron Man, and while I thought I could give that to her, I couldn’t. Not completely. Not when I thought maybe I could still do something to help, wherever it was needed.
[ He sighs under his breath. ] We almost got married after the Accords. Then after Titan, we almost tried again. I more or less gave up being Iron Man then, after all. It would have made sense. But, even then, it just...didn’t work. So I figured that was it from that end, and I was okay with that. I’ve never figured I was good for relationships, anyway. And this gig - it’s a lot for someone to accept. Even retired, the aftershocks of it all is a lot for someone to understand.
[ He pauses for a moment, but it doesn’t last very long. ] After Titan, I also struggled a lot with the fact that I had been spared. I should have died, Steve. During the first fight with Thanos, he almost killed me. Strange - the man that had the time stone - traded the stone with Thanos for me, and it didn’t make any sense as to why. Especially when everyone disappeared. It just didn’t seem fair, that so many people could just be gone and I had been spared, especially when it didn’t seem like there was a purpose behind it all.
But then, the whole time heist happened, and I thought maybe I had been spared to figure out the time travel piece. On the battlefield, though, it all clicked. Out of fourteen million scenarios Strange had seen, we could only win in one, and that was it. Me doing the snap... That’s what I had been spared to do. I was fine with it, too. Whatever outcome came from it - and I was expecting the worst one for myself - I could make peace with it on the spot, because I just wanted him gone.
When I woke up in Wakanda, I couldn’t understand why again. Especially on the worst days. I had been spared again, and while I’m thankful for it, I couldn’t understand why. Up until yesterday, actually, I still couldn’t.
[ He pauses again, because the sensation of baring himself like this makes him feel very vulnerable, but...he trusts Steve. It’s that trust in him that helps him share all this with him. ]
I guess long story short... During the last 36 hours, it feels like it’s all clicking again. The why behind failed relationships, behind getting yet another chance. I feel like I get it now, with you. And believe me, I figured I was actually done with relationships. I still don’t know if I’m that great at them, and I hate subjecting you to be here for all the health junk I’m still dealing with, but... It feels like whatever I had been waiting for, that proverbial explanation behind it all, is finally here. I feel like the reason I was given more time by Shuri and Helen wasn’t to save the world anymore, but to find the piece in my life that had been missing. And that’s you.
omg I'm so sorry my previous tag had so many typos
[ As Tony talks about Pepper, Steve nods and listens the whole time. For the longest time, no matter how he felt about Tony, he'd never said or done anything because of Pepper. Not because he was jealous, but because Steve had always imagined that Tony and Pepper would get married one day. They loved each other, he could tell, even when they disagreed.
But the moments where Steve feels for Tony the most — is all the moments in his life when he couldn't understand why he was still alive. After Titan. After the snap. Steve imagines that those aren't the only two times Tony's felt this way, and Steve gets it. Survivor's guilt. Both of them feel it now, don't they? Because of Natasha. But the real reason Steve can understand some extent of it, is because that's what was on everyone's mind after the snap. Conversations in group changed from why did I live after the war, to how am I still living when I felt my wife turn to ash in my arms? No one knew why they were the ones who survived, as opposed to the people they loved most. It was devastating.
He squeezes Tony's hand when he can, brushes his cheek when he can, kisses his forehead when he can. All to just let Tony know that yeah, he gets it, and he's still listening.
It isn't near the end though, that Steve realizes before Tony's done where he's going with this. But hearing him say the words And that's you. feels like a well of emotions hitting him square in the chest. There's a lot Steve wants to say, and he'll say them soon, but all he wants to do first is to kiss Tony again. When he leans in this time, his free hand wraps up against the back of Tony's neck and into his hair, and for the first time, there's a sense that Steve isn't holding anything back anymore. There's real love in that kiss. ]
you’re fine! sorry about mine too though, that’s what i get for posting too early the in morning
[ Those reassurances as he talks definitely help in comforting him. In reassuring him that Steve gets it, that he’s not judging him for how he had felt during whatever he’s sharing. He appreciates more than he knows, and it just makes him feel like Steve is getting deeper and deeper into his heart.
And then he pulls him in and kisses him, and Tony kisses him back as he more or less melts against him again. His insecurities had caused him to already start questioning if he should have said everything he said, if it was too much too soon, but his answer comes before the doubt could actually settle. Steve’s lips, without saying a single thing, quiet down the thoughts in his head and Tony kisses him deeper. As if to silently thank him for this, for being here.
As if to tell him that he feels that love from him. He also feels that love for him, and he’s just so goddamned thankful for it that he can’t even believe it’s real. ]
[ He gets lost in Tony for a while. The way his lips feel. The warmth to his body. The lingering smell of campfire smoke. And of course, the undeniable connection that he feels between them. ]
I don't mind the health stuff, Tony. [ His voice is breathy, because this time and the next few times Steve talks, he's talking in-between one kiss and another. ] I like being there for you. [ He smiles, even as their lips find each other again. ] I like that maybe one day, you'll need me. [ Steve presses his body closer now, and there's barely any place left on the couch for Tony to go. ] Because I can't believe how fast I'm falling for you.
[ In a way, it all feels like his feels are moving lightning fast. But maybe instead, that lightning struck a long time ago, and only now are the two of them feeling the thunder. ]
I don’t want to burden you with it. [ The admittance comes in between kisses, and it’s probably only because he’s so distracted by kissing Steve and pressing himself closer against him that it just kind of comes out. When Steve says that maybe one day he’ll need him, he knows that he means something else, but a naughty look crosses his face. ]
What if I already need you?
[ He kisses him again, especially as Steve presses himself so close. Then his words take him by surprise, but not in a bad way. He’s falling for him? Tony’s just more surprised than anything else that it’s not just him that feels that way. ]
I know, I can’t believe it either. [ He says it quietly but almost breathless. ] I’m already crazy about you, Steve Rogers.
wow I also didn't mean to say "his feels" b/c Steve is not a millenial
[ That look on Tony's face makes Steve's heart beat faster. Especially after last night, it's making his thoughts move toward a very specific and very indiscreet direction.
When Tony follows that up with that question, Steve gives him a look like, Already need me? As in, right now? And yeah, he thinks he's picking up the right signals here for what "need" means at the moment.
Steve's surprised too, though, when Tony says he's crazy about it. This whole time, it feels like his emotions are going faster than his brain thinks is rational or reasonable. That surely Tony couldn't be in the same place already. But this time, Steve just shakes his head before leaning in for one more kiss. ]
I'm crazy about you too, Tony Stark.
[ He slides himself off the couch after that, and Steve picks Tony up in a fireman's carry. They're headed toward one place and one place only: Tony's bedroom. ]
it’s what being around each other does to them, they are going crazy ;)
[ The question behind Steve’s eyes as he seems to wonder if he needs him right now is answered by how he kisses him hungrily. Yes, he says with it. Right now.
And he’s glad that Steve catches on the message. Although, even if he wouldn’t have, Tony would have tried to find a way to encourage this to move upstairs. Thankfully Steve gets it, though, and he’s moving off the couch. Then he takes him into his arms, and god, he loves that. Maybe he shouldn’t, but there’s just something about the way Steve carries him so damn easily.
As they go upstairs, Tony kisses Steve’s neck. Slowly, teasingly. He wants to rev him up, especially since now they’ll be more comfortable in bed together. He has a feeling it’ll make it harder to part ways in the morning, even if it’ll just be for the day, but at the same time that’s exactly why he wants to spend more time with him. Why he wants a chance to be with him again, as if he wants to explore him all over again before morning comes. ]
[ Maybe it's weird, but Steve loves it too. He loves how light Tony feels in his arms and how easily it seems that they fit together. He's also realizing that he loves carrying Tony, period, and if they ever go on a hike and Tony just wants Steve to give him a piggyback ride the whole time, he'd do it. Hell, he'd also do it walking around the compound, if Tony wanted.
The kisses on his neck send tingles both up and down his body and if Tony keeps it up for much longer, Steve's gonna go weak at the knees before he can get them to the right room. If his goal is to rev Steve up, he can tell, just like he can tell it's definitely working. The last kiss is particular has Steve exhaling a soft, breathy moaning sound, clipped short when he gives Tony a I know what you're doing kind of look. ]
You're going to make me fall over, I hope you know that.
[ There's a grin on his face as he says that, having just made it all the way up to the top floor of the cabin. ]
[ Tony catches the way that Steve’s breathing changes with each kiss, and it’s almost a self made challenge as he tries to see how much he can alter it. Can he make him even more breathless? Can he make him moan? He lingers and he pauses as needed to heighten the effect, and when he gets that look, Tony just grins. Pretending to look innocent, but very much not. ]
Me? I don’t know what you mean. [ He kisses his neck again, lingering and with a bit more force; if Steve didn’t have the serum, a light hickey may have shown up from it. ]
Do you want me to stop? [ The words are quiet, against his neck. ]
[ The more Tony explores and experiments, the more he'll learn that there's a particularly sensitive spot on each side of Steve's neck, right over his pulse — and that applying pressure or suction on those spots gets all sorts of reactions from him. ]
I'm sure you- [ But Tony kisses him again, right there, with more force this time and Steve gasps, and when he finishes his sentence a second later, he's all but whispering the last word: ] don't. [ So much for banter. If Tony keeps this up, Steve's pretty sure he won't be able to speak soon. It's unfair really, that Tony can do this to him, and Steve can feel his own hold on Tony tightening, just to stabilize himself. ]
Don't stop. [ He whispers back, forehead furrowed from how easy it was for Tony to turn him on. Steve gives Tony a look that says You're cheating after that. But given the smirk that he's doing a bad job of holding back, it's clear that Steve likes it. He maybe ... even likes it a lot.
After the fifteen more steps it takes to get to the bedroom, Steve wants Tony so badly it feels unreal. His body is practically humming, all on its own, and it takes Steve extra effort to lay Tony down gently on the bed. But once he does, it takes no time before Steve gives Tony one big lingering kiss, before he slides himself down to Tony's neck. Two can play at this game. ]
[ Jackpot, he thinks when Steve gasps, and he smiles against his skin when he hears him say to not stop. ]
I got you, babe. It’s okay.
[ It’s said in a whisper, his own breathing slightly ragged already. It may seem like he’s just doing this to rev up Steve - and it’s not necessarily a wrong assumption - but it’s also having an effect on him to taste his skin. To feel his pulse under his lips. To breathe him in like this, so closely.
As they walk into the bedroom, he kisses that spot again with the same strength he had before. Except, this time, he lingers a bit more than the first time until he feels the bed against his back. He pulls back slightly, just in time for Steve to kiss him, and Tony kisses him back. It’s almost needy, as if silently asking him for more, and Steve surprises him when he slides down to his neck. It’s a wonderful surprise, though, and to keep him there he wraps his legs around Steve. His free hand moves to slip under his shirt, brushing against his waistline and Tony gasps when he feels Steve find his own pleasure spot on his neck. ]
[ Steve's got to give it to him — Tony's got good timing. Because when he feels that last kiss on just the right spot and this time a lingering force, Steve all but falls when he lays Tony down in the bed. Honestly, Steve is having a hard time not just turning over and letting Tony have his way with him.
Pressed this closer together, especially with the way Tony's legs are wrapped around him, Tony'll be able to feel exactly how pressed against him Steve is, when he hears that gasp come out of Tony. All he wants is to hear Tony do it again. ]
Learned from the best. [ He says, nowhere near out of breath yet now that he's the one making sure Tony knows how this feels. In fact, he could do this all day.
Steve doesn't realize that the serum prevents this level of hickey's though, mostly because he's never had one. So he matches Tony force for force when he's kissing his neck, his tongue pushing against Tony's skin a little, before he lets go, and sees the skin start to bruise. Luckily, Steve at least knows what hickey is. It'd be awfully embarrassing if he didn't by this age. ] I think I left a mark. [ He says, between breaths. ] That okay? [ His voice sounds rather genuine, even if by now, Steve can already anticipate the answer. ]
[ He can definitely feel how close Steve is to him, but when Tony gasps, he still finds himself pressing his hold on him so that he can bring him closer still. Feeling Steve this close, though, plus with the sensation he’s igniting with that kiss on his neck, Tony’s pelvis seems to have a mind of its own as it thrusts closer to Steve. He hasn’t realized it, but his hand has moved away from his abdomen and has instead grabbed onto his shirt, as if by doing so he can also pull him in closer.
And then he feels Steve’s tongue on his skin, and he can’t help another gasp under his breath. He’s enjoying this far too much, completely immersed in the moment, that when Steve asks him if it’s okay to leave a mark he’s quick to answer with a firm nod. Not that the answer would have been anything different otherwise, but at least he could have tried to play it coy. Right now, he looks far too pleased by the fact that Steve has marked him. If anything, as he nods, it looks almost desperate because he wants more. ]
[ Steve blushes again, but this time, there's also satisfaction mixed into the curve of his lips. That statement is all the permission he needs.
He leans down again, lips marking the exact same spot again, going a little harder this time and a little longer, his tongue moving back and forth over that delicate part of Tony's skin until the purple coloring darkens a circle. But then Steve searches, kissing Tony's neck more lightly, to find another sensitive spot, maybe closer to the base of his neck, near his collarbone.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Steve knows that dark purple bruises on Tony's neck are probably going to be the cause of some questions from Helen tomorrow, but he doesn't think Tony would mind. ]
[ Tony loves this probably entirely too much, but he can’t help it. It feels amazing, and he just loves the fact that Steve lingers longer. That he kisses him harder, and he whispers a ragged ‘yes, please, keep doing it’ as if to encourage him to continue. He has never cared about whether or not his escapades leave marks on him, but it’s different when it’s more than that. It means so much more that it’s Steve the one leaving the marks. That it’s someone he cares about so damn deeply, because it’s like some way to keep him with him even when they’re not together.
It’s as if to announce to the world that he’s Steve’s, without necessarily saying a word. ]
feel free to go vague and let time pass, I'm starting to set that up
[ This time, their second time, Steve has a little more knowledge to work with. Tony taught him a lot last night, and now, with a soft bed beneath them, Steve lingers on things, takes his time.
The heat is still there, but Steve's less desperate, maybe because he knows that this isn't going to be the only time — that Tony wants to be his, and that he'll be back and here, and with Tony, night after night.
Still, it doesn't mean Steve takes it easy. Undressing each other is pretty quick work, and if it wasn't for the fact that Tony was still wearing Steve's shirt, he would've ripped it again. His goal, really, is simply to make Tony make as many sounds as possible, as Steve's lips make their way down Tony's body, over his skin, until he parts Tony's legs himself, and slides his body off the edge of the bed to kneel in front of it. ]
[ While in a lot of ways Tony likes to have control of things, for the most part, when it comes to this - especially with Steve, it feels like - he finds himself thrilled whenever takes control of the situation. He has always been attracted to the times whenever Steve would be assertive, even when it would drive him insane because it would clash with his own style, but here, now...
He loves that new sense of confidence that Steve seems to have after last night. Tony gladly lets him take the lead. It lets him get lost in the moment even more than last night, and of course that helps for Steve to find more weak spots that Tony has throughout his body. Like that particular spot on his neck, the one on his left collarbone. Even on the right side of his abdomen, there's a spot that when Steve's lips touch him, it makes him moan in pleasure as he writhes slightly. Who would have thought the stones had done something good for a change, considering it somehow feels more sensitive. But, in this case, not in a bad way at all. Tony's body is an array of marks and scars, but with the way that Steve kisses him and has been making him feel, even he's less hesitant to let Steve explore him as he wishes.
Not that he had been exactly shy yesterday, but at least today there's no stray thought that makes him second guess himself.
The pleasure heightens, of course, when he feels Steve inside of him. The sounds Steve is drawing out of him are impossible to hide, and he does what he can to bring him closer. As close as he can. Harder, he breathes, c'mon, make me yours. It comes out like a mantra, as if to encourage Steve to continue, to go as hard as he's willing to go.
By the time they finish, and they're a tangled, breathless mess between the sheets, Tony feels almost boneless as he keeps himself pressed against him. It's one of the best sensations in the world, he realizes as he shifts his head to kiss his collarbone, and he closes his eyes with an overly content look on his face. ]
[ Every sensitive spot he finds has Steve practically beaming with pleasure as he watches the way Tony reacts. Bodies, he's decided, are incredible. They could take everything away from you, but they could also give you almost everything. There's so much history to what both of them have been through, but unless Steve, whose body will forever remain an empty canvas, Tony's is a masterpiece filled with the etchings of life and struggle and sacrifice, and now, as Steve is determined to make it: of love.
One might argue that getting hickeys all over your body might not exactly symbolize love, but ... for them, and for what Tony seems to like, it's pretty close.
As someone who's normally in charge at the compound, Steve is discovering that depending on who and how he feels, whether or not he wants to be in charge here depends. In many ways, he thinks he'd enjoy it, embarrassingly so, if Tony ever walked in and decided exactly what they'd be doing. It'd be a change of pace, that's for sure, from the office. But right now, as they're still getting to know each other's bodies and after everything Tony showed him yesterday, Steve does want to take charge. He doesn't want Tony to feel like he has to work when they're together, that he has to teach him everything first.
He wants Tony to just lay down, relax, and enjoy it.
This time, Steve learns how to readjust his barometer too, for what gentle and rough should mean with Tony. Harder he keeps hearing. Make me yours. And every time he does push or suck or press harder, the moans and agonizing writhes he gets from Tony are too beautiful to miss. So Steve follows the instructions. He pushes into Tony harder, his left hand's grip on Tony's hips presses deeper, and his right hand strokes Tony that much faster.
Steve takes for granted too, how on both nights, it's been so natural, so easy for the two of them to always finish together, when things like that are much harder in the real world. But he doesn't know that, and no one's telling him otherwise. He loves feeling the way Tony's body shudders around him and both of them seem to lose their breath at the same time, moaning and gasping until they come completely unwound and fall utterly exhausted down into the sheets.
He loves it too, when Tony curls up against him and Steve shifts to make sure his arms are completely around his boyfriend's — is that right? is this real? — so he can cuddle him closer. Steve's eyes are sleepy, too, spent after what they've just shared together, and he kisses Tony's temple gently, before he says a silent I love you in his own head. ]
[ Tony is convinced this is the best feeling in the world. To be this wonderfully spent, laying next to the person he's falling head over heels for. Once upon a time that thought would have scared him, but right now he knows better than to ignore it. There's just no way he would be able to, though; just with the way that Steve is holding him, and how he kisses his temple, it feels like his heart is going to burst from happiness.
Although they've already moved on a million steps ahead of what a normal relationship would be by the second day together, Tony knows better than to say those three words that are at the tip of his tongue. He has already asked Steve to more or less move in together, after all. ]
I think it's my turn to make you breakfast in the morning. [ The words are said quietly, sleepy as he settles against him. Close enough that Steve will probably feel the way a smile crosses his face. ] Probably won't be as good as your pancakes...but it's only fair, yeah?
Mmmmm. [ Steve hums, with a sleepy kind of satisfaction. ] I bet your pancakes will be great. [ Steve realizes on his next breath that Tony hadn't said he was going to make pancakes, specifically. ] Or any kinda breakfast you make. I bet I'll love it. [ Because I love you.
But even now, with his eyes a droopy, there's still a pretty grin on Steve's face as he shifts a little to cuddle Tony closer, to wrap them both up like a cocoon in the sheets. ]
[ He chuckles softly under his breath. ] Sure, if you don’t mind frozen pancakes. But, I’ll make you something. Not just coffee, either.
[ Tony closes his eyes, the smile on his face settled permanently settled on his lips. I love you, he can’t help but think, drifting off peacefully against him. ]
[ In the years after the snap, sleep has come to Steve much more easily than it had before. But with the warmth of Tony's body pressed against him, that sleep comes easier still. No matter how Steve has looked on the outside, on the inside, he wants nothing more than to protect people, and now, with his arms wrapped rather protectively around Tony, he drifts right after him to sleep.
When morning comes, for Steve, it comes slowly — as if it takes him a while to shift back into normal gear. The first few looks he gets of the room through sleepy eyes are fuzzy, but Steve rubs them a little and that shift is enough to shift Tony a little. One look down at him though and Steve just lets his head fall back down on the pillow, a small, satisfied grin on his face.
The whole weekend comes rushing back to him after that. ]
[ Although for years Tony had trouble sleeping, things improved ever since Thanos was finally defeated. It hadn’t been just from the painkillers and muscle relaxants, although even he’d be the first to admit that they had definitely helped in easing things for him. It had been the peace of mind that no medicine could bring him. Sometimes he’d find himself awake at random moments of the night, but it had nothing to do with awful nightmares or a heavy sense of guilt that made it impossible to breathe. It’d usually be agonizing phantom pains along his right arm, or just good old insomnia, but overall he didn’t even mind it.
Tonight there’s none of that, though. He’s far too comfortable in Steve’s arms to even move, and when he does it’s only to readjust enough to fall back asleep within moments. His body aches, and he’s tired, but it’s in the best way possible and resting against Steve feels like the best thing in the world.
By the time Steve moves, Tony’s already lingering between sleep and consciousness, so the shift makes him open his eyes slightly. The windows in the room room are well protected by all the tall trees around the property, letting the sunlight filter through but muting it enough to let them wake up at their own pace. Between that, and the warmth that Steve’s body is emitting, Tony just smiles drowsily as he nuzzles closer against him. How bad would it be, he wonders, if he delays his rehab one more day? ]
[ Is this really only day three? Steve thinks to himself, feeling like that's completely impossible. He kisses Tony's forehead then — he can't help it, with Tony so close and so intimately curled on top of him. ]
Morning. [ He says, slowly and like they had all the time in the world to enjoy this. In a way, it really feels like they have an eternity, given how short he'd expected his own life to be years ago.
He nuzzles closer to Tony too, wondering in turn, how easy it would be to fall back asleep again if they wanted to. ]
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noble_sentiments) wrote2019-04-28 12:02 pm
no subject
But that comment about Peggy makes Steve's eyebrows lift in surprise. The two of them had never talked about Peggy much. He listens to the right though, smiling again at the end.
And his answer, Steve just nods, eyes skeptical but hopeful, before he adds: ] And after that I want to know more about how many times Peggy's saved you.
no subject
For a long time I didn’t think I’d ever find anyone I’d be able to find anyone that...you know. I could make this work with. Pepper and I tried a few times, and don’t get me wrong. She has always meant a lot to me. But ultimately it just never fully worked. We wanted different things; she wanted me to step back from being Iron Man, and while I thought I could give that to her, I couldn’t. Not completely. Not when I thought maybe I could still do something to help, wherever it was needed.
[ He sighs under his breath. ] We almost got married after the Accords. Then after Titan, we almost tried again. I more or less gave up being Iron Man then, after all. It would have made sense. But, even then, it just...didn’t work. So I figured that was it from that end, and I was okay with that. I’ve never figured I was good for relationships, anyway. And this gig - it’s a lot for someone to accept. Even retired, the aftershocks of it all is a lot for someone to understand.
[ He pauses for a moment, but it doesn’t last very long. ] After Titan, I also struggled a lot with the fact that I had been spared. I should have died, Steve. During the first fight with Thanos, he almost killed me. Strange - the man that had the time stone - traded the stone with Thanos for me, and it didn’t make any sense as to why. Especially when everyone disappeared. It just didn’t seem fair, that so many people could just be gone and I had been spared, especially when it didn’t seem like there was a purpose behind it all.
But then, the whole time heist happened, and I thought maybe I had been spared to figure out the time travel piece. On the battlefield, though, it all clicked. Out of fourteen million scenarios Strange had seen, we could only win in one, and that was it. Me doing the snap... That’s what I had been spared to do. I was fine with it, too. Whatever outcome came from it - and I was expecting the worst one for myself - I could make peace with it on the spot, because I just wanted him gone.
When I woke up in Wakanda, I couldn’t understand why again. Especially on the worst days. I had been spared again, and while I’m thankful for it, I couldn’t understand why. Up until yesterday, actually, I still couldn’t.
[ He pauses again, because the sensation of baring himself like this makes him feel very vulnerable, but...he trusts Steve. It’s that trust in him that helps him share all this with him. ]
I guess long story short... During the last 36 hours, it feels like it’s all clicking again. The why behind failed relationships, behind getting yet another chance. I feel like I get it now, with you. And believe me, I figured I was actually done with relationships. I still don’t know if I’m that great at them, and I hate subjecting you to be here for all the health junk I’m still dealing with, but... It feels like whatever I had been waiting for, that proverbial explanation behind it all, is finally here. I feel like the reason I was given more time by Shuri and Helen wasn’t to save the world anymore, but to find the piece in my life that had been missing. And that’s you.
omg I'm so sorry my previous tag had so many typos
But the moments where Steve feels for Tony the most — is all the moments in his life when he couldn't understand why he was still alive. After Titan. After the snap. Steve imagines that those aren't the only two times Tony's felt this way, and Steve gets it. Survivor's guilt. Both of them feel it now, don't they? Because of Natasha. But the real reason Steve can understand some extent of it, is because that's what was on everyone's mind after the snap. Conversations in group changed from why did I live after the war, to how am I still living when I felt my wife turn to ash in my arms? No one knew why they were the ones who survived, as opposed to the people they loved most. It was devastating.
He squeezes Tony's hand when he can, brushes his cheek when he can, kisses his forehead when he can. All to just let Tony know that yeah, he gets it, and he's still listening.
It isn't near the end though, that Steve realizes before Tony's done where he's going with this. But hearing him say the words And that's you. feels like a well of emotions hitting him square in the chest. There's a lot Steve wants to say, and he'll say them soon, but all he wants to do first is to kiss Tony again. When he leans in this time, his free hand wraps up against the back of Tony's neck and into his hair, and for the first time, there's a sense that Steve isn't holding anything back anymore. There's real love in that kiss. ]
you’re fine! sorry about mine too though, that’s what i get for posting too early the in morning
And then he pulls him in and kisses him, and Tony kisses him back as he more or less melts against him again. His insecurities had caused him to already start questioning if he should have said everything he said, if it was too much too soon, but his answer comes before the doubt could actually settle. Steve’s lips, without saying a single thing, quiet down the thoughts in his head and Tony kisses him deeper. As if to silently thank him for this, for being here.
As if to tell him that he feels that love from him. He also feels that love for him, and he’s just so goddamned thankful for it that he can’t even believe it’s real. ]
SAME
I don't mind the health stuff, Tony. [ His voice is breathy, because this time and the next few times Steve talks, he's talking in-between one kiss and another. ] I like being there for you. [ He smiles, even as their lips find each other again. ] I like that maybe one day, you'll need me. [ Steve presses his body closer now, and there's barely any place left on the couch for Tony to go. ] Because I can't believe how fast I'm falling for you.
[ In a way, it all feels like his feels are moving lightning fast. But maybe instead, that lightning struck a long time ago, and only now are the two of them feeling the thunder. ]
❤️
What if I already need you?
[ He kisses him again, especially as Steve presses himself so close. Then his words take him by surprise, but not in a bad way. He’s falling for him? Tony’s just more surprised than anything else that it’s not just him that feels that way. ]
I know, I can’t believe it either. [ He says it quietly but almost breathless. ] I’m already crazy about you, Steve Rogers.
wow I also didn't mean to say "his feels" b/c Steve is not a millenial
When Tony follows that up with that question, Steve gives him a look like, Already need me? As in, right now? And yeah, he thinks he's picking up the right signals here for what "need" means at the moment.
Steve's surprised too, though, when Tony says he's crazy about it. This whole time, it feels like his emotions are going faster than his brain thinks is rational or reasonable. That surely Tony couldn't be in the same place already. But this time, Steve just shakes his head before leaning in for one more kiss. ]
I'm crazy about you too, Tony Stark.
[ He slides himself off the couch after that, and Steve picks Tony up in a fireman's carry. They're headed toward one place and one place only: Tony's bedroom. ]
it’s what being around each other does to them, they are going crazy ;)
And he’s glad that Steve catches on the message. Although, even if he wouldn’t have, Tony would have tried to find a way to encourage this to move upstairs. Thankfully Steve gets it, though, and he’s moving off the couch. Then he takes him into his arms, and god, he loves that. Maybe he shouldn’t, but there’s just something about the way Steve carries him so damn easily.
As they go upstairs, Tony kisses Steve’s neck. Slowly, teasingly. He wants to rev him up, especially since now they’ll be more comfortable in bed together. He has a feeling it’ll make it harder to part ways in the morning, even if it’ll just be for the day, but at the same time that’s exactly why he wants to spend more time with him. Why he wants a chance to be with him again, as if he wants to explore him all over again before morning comes. ]
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The kisses on his neck send tingles both up and down his body and if Tony keeps it up for much longer, Steve's gonna go weak at the knees before he can get them to the right room. If his goal is to rev Steve up, he can tell, just like he can tell it's definitely working. The last kiss is particular has Steve exhaling a soft, breathy moaning sound, clipped short when he gives Tony a I know what you're doing kind of look. ]
You're going to make me fall over, I hope you know that.
[ There's a grin on his face as he says that, having just made it all the way up to the top floor of the cabin. ]
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Me? I don’t know what you mean. [ He kisses his neck again, lingering and with a bit more force; if Steve didn’t have the serum, a light hickey may have shown up from it. ]
Do you want me to stop? [ The words are quiet, against his neck. ]
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I'm sure you- [ But Tony kisses him again, right there, with more force this time and Steve gasps, and when he finishes his sentence a second later, he's all but whispering the last word: ] don't. [ So much for banter. If Tony keeps this up, Steve's pretty sure he won't be able to speak soon. It's unfair really, that Tony can do this to him, and Steve can feel his own hold on Tony tightening, just to stabilize himself. ]
Don't stop. [ He whispers back, forehead furrowed from how easy it was for Tony to turn him on. Steve gives Tony a look that says You're cheating after that. But given the smirk that he's doing a bad job of holding back, it's clear that Steve likes it. He maybe ... even likes it a lot.
After the fifteen more steps it takes to get to the bedroom, Steve wants Tony so badly it feels unreal. His body is practically humming, all on its own, and it takes Steve extra effort to lay Tony down gently on the bed. But once he does, it takes no time before Steve gives Tony one big lingering kiss, before he slides himself down to Tony's neck. Two can play at this game. ]
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I got you, babe. It’s okay.
[ It’s said in a whisper, his own breathing slightly ragged already. It may seem like he’s just doing this to rev up Steve - and it’s not necessarily a wrong assumption - but it’s also having an effect on him to taste his skin. To feel his pulse under his lips. To breathe him in like this, so closely.
As they walk into the bedroom, he kisses that spot again with the same strength he had before. Except, this time, he lingers a bit more than the first time until he feels the bed against his back. He pulls back slightly, just in time for Steve to kiss him, and Tony kisses him back. It’s almost needy, as if silently asking him for more, and Steve surprises him when he slides down to his neck. It’s a wonderful surprise, though, and to keep him there he wraps his legs around Steve. His free hand moves to slip under his shirt, brushing against his waistline and Tony gasps when he feels Steve find his own pleasure spot on his neck. ]
God, you’re amazing.
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Pressed this closer together, especially with the way Tony's legs are wrapped around him, Tony'll be able to feel exactly how pressed against him Steve is, when he hears that gasp come out of Tony. All he wants is to hear Tony do it again. ]
Learned from the best. [ He says, nowhere near out of breath yet now that he's the one making sure Tony knows how this feels. In fact, he could do this all day.
Steve doesn't realize that the serum prevents this level of hickey's though, mostly because he's never had one. So he matches Tony force for force when he's kissing his neck, his tongue pushing against Tony's skin a little, before he lets go, and sees the skin start to bruise. Luckily, Steve at least knows what hickey is. It'd be awfully embarrassing if he didn't by this age. ] I think I left a mark. [ He says, between breaths. ] That okay? [ His voice sounds rather genuine, even if by now, Steve can already anticipate the answer. ]
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And then he feels Steve’s tongue on his skin, and he can’t help another gasp under his breath. He’s enjoying this far too much, completely immersed in the moment, that when Steve asks him if it’s okay to leave a mark he’s quick to answer with a firm nod. Not that the answer would have been anything different otherwise, but at least he could have tried to play it coy. Right now, he looks far too pleased by the fact that Steve has marked him. If anything, as he nods, it looks almost desperate because he wants more. ]
I’m all yours, baby. Make me yours.
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He leans down again, lips marking the exact same spot again, going a little harder this time and a little longer, his tongue moving back and forth over that delicate part of Tony's skin until the purple coloring darkens a circle. But then Steve searches, kissing Tony's neck more lightly, to find another sensitive spot, maybe closer to the base of his neck, near his collarbone.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Steve knows that dark purple bruises on Tony's neck are probably going to be the cause of some questions from Helen tomorrow, but he doesn't think Tony would mind. ]
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It’s as if to announce to the world that he’s Steve’s, without necessarily saying a word. ]
feel free to go vague and let time pass, I'm starting to set that up
The heat is still there, but Steve's less desperate, maybe because he knows that this isn't going to be the only time — that Tony wants to be his, and that he'll be back and here, and with Tony, night after night.
Still, it doesn't mean Steve takes it easy. Undressing each other is pretty quick work, and if it wasn't for the fact that Tony was still wearing Steve's shirt, he would've ripped it again. His goal, really, is simply to make Tony make as many sounds as possible, as Steve's lips make their way down Tony's body, over his skin, until he parts Tony's legs himself, and slides his body off the edge of the bed to kneel in front of it. ]
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He loves that new sense of confidence that Steve seems to have after last night. Tony gladly lets him take the lead. It lets him get lost in the moment even more than last night, and of course that helps for Steve to find more weak spots that Tony has throughout his body. Like that particular spot on his neck, the one on his left collarbone. Even on the right side of his abdomen, there's a spot that when Steve's lips touch him, it makes him moan in pleasure as he writhes slightly. Who would have thought the stones had done something good for a change, considering it somehow feels more sensitive. But, in this case, not in a bad way at all. Tony's body is an array of marks and scars, but with the way that Steve kisses him and has been making him feel, even he's less hesitant to let Steve explore him as he wishes.
Not that he had been exactly shy yesterday, but at least today there's no stray thought that makes him second guess himself.
The pleasure heightens, of course, when he feels Steve inside of him. The sounds Steve is drawing out of him are impossible to hide, and he does what he can to bring him closer. As close as he can. Harder, he breathes, c'mon, make me yours. It comes out like a mantra, as if to encourage Steve to continue, to go as hard as he's willing to go.
By the time they finish, and they're a tangled, breathless mess between the sheets, Tony feels almost boneless as he keeps himself pressed against him. It's one of the best sensations in the world, he realizes as he shifts his head to kiss his collarbone, and he closes his eyes with an overly content look on his face. ]
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One might argue that getting hickeys all over your body might not exactly symbolize love, but ... for them, and for what Tony seems to like, it's pretty close.
As someone who's normally in charge at the compound, Steve is discovering that depending on who and how he feels, whether or not he wants to be in charge here depends. In many ways, he thinks he'd enjoy it, embarrassingly so, if Tony ever walked in and decided exactly what they'd be doing. It'd be a change of pace, that's for sure, from the office. But right now, as they're still getting to know each other's bodies and after everything Tony showed him yesterday, Steve does want to take charge. He doesn't want Tony to feel like he has to work when they're together, that he has to teach him everything first.
He wants Tony to just lay down, relax, and enjoy it.
This time, Steve learns how to readjust his barometer too, for what gentle and rough should mean with Tony. Harder he keeps hearing. Make me yours. And every time he does push or suck or press harder, the moans and agonizing writhes he gets from Tony are too beautiful to miss. So Steve follows the instructions. He pushes into Tony harder, his left hand's grip on Tony's hips presses deeper, and his right hand strokes Tony that much faster.
Steve takes for granted too, how on both nights, it's been so natural, so easy for the two of them to always finish together, when things like that are much harder in the real world. But he doesn't know that, and no one's telling him otherwise. He loves feeling the way Tony's body shudders around him and both of them seem to lose their breath at the same time, moaning and gasping until they come completely unwound and fall utterly exhausted down into the sheets.
He loves it too, when Tony curls up against him and Steve shifts to make sure his arms are completely around his boyfriend's — is that right? is this real? — so he can cuddle him closer. Steve's eyes are sleepy, too, spent after what they've just shared together, and he kisses Tony's temple gently, before he says a silent I love you in his own head. ]
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Although they've already moved on a million steps ahead of what a normal relationship would be by the second day together, Tony knows better than to say those three words that are at the tip of his tongue. He has already asked Steve to more or less move in together, after all. ]
I think it's my turn to make you breakfast in the morning. [ The words are said quietly, sleepy as he settles against him. Close enough that Steve will probably feel the way a smile crosses his face. ] Probably won't be as good as your pancakes...but it's only fair, yeah?
they're so soft and cute
But even now, with his eyes a droopy, there's still a pretty grin on Steve's face as he shifts a little to cuddle Tony closer, to wrap them both up like a cocoon in the sheets. ]
I can't wait. [ He says, soft as a whisper. ]
yesss they’re adorable ❤️
[ Tony closes his eyes, the smile on his face settled permanently settled on his lips. I love you, he can’t help but think, drifting off peacefully against him. ]
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When morning comes, for Steve, it comes slowly — as if it takes him a while to shift back into normal gear. The first few looks he gets of the room through sleepy eyes are fuzzy, but Steve rubs them a little and that shift is enough to shift Tony a little. One look down at him though and Steve just lets his head fall back down on the pillow, a small, satisfied grin on his face.
The whole weekend comes rushing back to him after that. ]
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Tonight there’s none of that, though. He’s far too comfortable in Steve’s arms to even move, and when he does it’s only to readjust enough to fall back asleep within moments. His body aches, and he’s tired, but it’s in the best way possible and resting against Steve feels like the best thing in the world.
By the time Steve moves, Tony’s already lingering between sleep and consciousness, so the shift makes him open his eyes slightly. The windows in the room room are well protected by all the tall trees around the property, letting the sunlight filter through but muting it enough to let them wake up at their own pace. Between that, and the warmth that Steve’s body is emitting, Tony just smiles drowsily as he nuzzles closer against him. How bad would it be, he wonders, if he delays his rehab one more day? ]
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Morning. [ He says, slowly and like they had all the time in the world to enjoy this. In a way, it really feels like they have an eternity, given how short he'd expected his own life to be years ago.
He nuzzles closer to Tony too, wondering in turn, how easy it would be to fall back asleep again if they wanted to. ]
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