fillers or aus i would love to play running list; if you're interested in any of this, throw up a starter and i am there
steve + peggy
Peggy and Steve's reunion when he returns to the past.
That dance scene. /sobs
Anything about their life afterward.
steve + tony
Conversations about Peggy or Howard, or anything else they'd talk about during their 2-man mission to the past
First time Steve and Tony interact after Tony calls Steve out on how failing together sucks.
Did Steve and Tony ever talk during those 5 years? If so, what did that look like?
[au] Tony survives, but Steve doesn't know that when he goes back in time. So now Steve is really old and Tony is not.
[au] Tony survives and Steve comes back from returning the stones and they rebuild their relationship
steve + natasha
Awful life at Avengers compound before Ant-Man, basically lots of hurt/comfort with each other
[au] When Steve tells Natasha that maybe they should both move on, he asks her out on a date — it becomes a very sad attempt at moving on, but it's also a sad kind of solace.
steve + bucky
Honestly, they barely got any time back together. Steve and Buck MUST have talked before Steve just decided to go back in the past. Possible convo where he admits he's not coming back, and asking Bucky if he wants to return back to their time with him?
steve + anyone
So ... you can so Mjolnir now?
Conversations with various characters when he returns the stones to their rightful place in the past
Someone insisting on going back in time with Steve, and they return all the stones together and this person convinces Steve to come back (or, is convinced that he really doesn't want to)
shuri + anyone
Rebuilding the world from Wakanda
Meeting the other avengers
One-uping our science bros during reconstruction :D
tony stark (AI) + morgan/anyone
I imagine this will be mostly sass.
And with everyone who is not Morgan, this will basically be him joking about how he's going to live forever.
[ Somewhere in the back of his head he can hear the sound of the ice cubes in the water bottle, he even hears Steve’s words but when he answers he sounds almost distracted. And he is, as he fumbles a little with the damn thing, but his focus is more on trying to tolerate the wave of pain that follows. ]
I’m, uh. No, thank you.
[ He turns to him after a moment, and he’s ready to say that they can keep moving, but then Steve talks and for a moment he doesn’t know what to say. He could lie, sure. But this probably won’t be the last time this will happen, so it’s not like he can actually lie. ]
Thanks, but unfortunately no. There’s not a whole lot that can be done.
[ He busies himself by reaching for his backpack before he gives a small smile as if to say, it’s fine. It’s okay. ]
...the damage is just. Very deep. They’ve tried to fix it, but it’s not going that great. Now I’m just waiting to see how much can be salvaged before we do...other solutions.
In the meantime, it just hurts. For the most part it’s tolerable if I don’t move it - hence the sling - but some things still just aggravate it. It can be movement, or...well, me trying to apparently use it to catch myself, even in the sling. Even if I can’t. I still forget, I guess.
[ It’s more honesty than he expected to come out, but...there it is. If they’re going to be camping and travel partners, though, maybe it’s good for Steve to know what he’s dealing with. ]
[ Steve nods. Despite the serum, he's dealt with injuries all his life — first, as a kid who suffered through nearly every disease, and second, as a soldier who saw every day the terrors of war.
As Tony continues to explain what's going on, Steve just keeps nodding when appropriate. He recognizes that this isn't something he should give pointers with. That no matter if it's painkillers or ice — a million people have probably told Tony to try this or that solution, and Steve guesses that Tony's tried them all.
The only other thing Steve can possibly think of, that he might try talking to Helen about when they get back, is a blood transfusion. But that's beyond his level of expertise. Helen'll know whether that's even an option and if it would even help. ]
It hasn't been that long. Makes sense that your body still forgets. [ A beat. ] For what it's worth. You're doing a pretty good job of pretending like it doesn't hurt. Had me fooled until we actually came out here, and I've been seeing you every other day for a couple of weeks.
Yeah, it’s been an adjustment. But, I mean, things were rough for a while. Ending up with just one arm out of commission for good - that’s not that bad, compared to how it could have gone. So I’m trying to make the best of it, I guess. And I’m already working on a solution for when we get to that point where we can move on to the next step. In the meantime, I can deal with the pain on most days. My tolerance level apparently went up with all this. It’s just the random moments when it flares up that I can’t quite ignore it, or I’m having a rough day.
[ At his thanks, Tony’s smile grows a bit more. ]
Thank you for not making this awkward. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m just still...adjusting to it all, I guess.
But, if we’re going to spend more time together then it’s only fair if you know what’s going on. So...if there’s anything you want to know about it, I’ll tell you.
[ Steve smiles. ] No, it's not bad at all. [ On the battlefield, he remembers turning to Tony when he realized they won, and he remembers feeling a sudden drop in the pit of his stomach when he saw how they'd won.
Ultimately, he's just grateful that Tony's alive at all. That with the help of Strange and Wong they were able to move him directly to where he could get help. ]
Hey — it's your right to tell me or not. [ No apologies needed. ]
There is something I want to know. [ Steve rests his hands on his hips and studies Tony's sling for a moment. ] Does it hurt only when you try to move or use it? [ After a second, Steve realizes that maybe he's not being clear. ] Just- only hypothetically. If say, someone were to pick you up, would that hurt?
[ There's just a tint of pink on his cheeks near the end, because he's aware of how that question could be interpreted. But for the most part, Steve is wondering if the pain stems from the use of a muscle that Tony has control over, versus any jostling that might happen to his arm. He's asking, because it's possible they'll run into some obstacles where actually, it is easier for Steve to carry Tony instead of helping him to do it himself, and he certainly wouldn't mind doing it. ]
[ It’s surprising to Tony, how easy this is. Talking with Steve. Being honest about all this. He had been concerned, partly because he was afraid his bubble of normalcy that he felt with Steve would disappear if he talked or mentioned his recovery, but...nothing has changed. Except for the fact that now Tony feels like he can be more honest about it, which helps. A lot. Oddly enough, it’s as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.
He considers Steve question as he looks down at his arm. He notices the pink tint in Steve’s face, but he tries to not let himself think too much about it. ]
It’s hard to tell. It’d depend on the angle, I guess. It always hurts when I try to move it, or if there’s prolonged pressure in some areas. But some other parts, mainly from my elbow down, are just. numb.
[ It feels like it’s gone, actually, but he doesn’t want to scare him or ruin this by putting it like that.
He turns back to him, a curious tilt of his head. ]
[ Steve smiles as he puts his hands up in a wide gesture. ]
Just hypothetically.
[ Steve knows the importance of feeling normal again, especially after an injury. He definitely doesn't want Tony to think that he's looking to literally carry him for the rest of the trip.
He's been able to tell too, ever since he took Tony out on his bike, that Pepper and Rhodey and whoever else Tony's seeing on a regular basis is treating him too much like a patient. Tony was just so excited by the idea — and Steve knows that feeling normal is half the battle when someone's in recovery. There's no way he's taking that away from Tony.
Unless of course, there are other reasons for him to carry him. But, what could those even be anyway.
***
The rest of the hike doesn't have many obstacles, except for a little tributary that runs out of the lake and cuts through the woods. The two of them need to make their way over carefully on some stones, but it all goes off with a hitch.
When the sun starts to set, they arrive at their destination — a nice spot right outside the woods and on the beach. Steve doesn't need Tony's help at all pitching the tent, just so they don't have to do it later, but he does let him help if he wants to. He'll show him how it all works too — though as he does, he's certain Tony's already designing a better, more automatic tent in his head already. Unzipping the tent flap, Steve throws the sleeping bags in there without unrolling them yet.
Next up is setting up the fire. The two of them collect rocks and wood, and Steve's somehow packed his own starter log that lights up immediately when he lights a match and throws it on top of the pile. Since it's Tony's first time, he thought it would be easier to learn this way. ]
Alright Tony. For dinner ... we have ... burgers? [ He asks, pulling out a package that looks like it used to be frozen but has thawed out from being in Steve's bag all day. ] Or hot dogs? [ Steve lifts up a second package with a couple of links inside. ]
[ By the time they make it to their camping spot, Tony’s leg muscles are kind of sore from the walk but he looks so relaxed and happy that it’s obvious this has been a success so far. He even does what he can to help Steve setting up camp where he can; he doesn’t know the first thing of what he’s doing, but Steve’s guidance helps with that. At first he had started helping to not just stand there awkwardly while the other man worked, but as they go along he actually does it because he’s curious and wants to learn.
And yes, he is definitely finding a way to make this easier. Maybe, he thinks, he can design a tent that builds itself with just the push of a button. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?
Once the fire is going, Tony sits down on a log and smiles at Steve’s question. He really had thought of everything. ]
Burgers would be great.
You know - and I reserve the right to change my decision after sleeping on a sleeping bag - this is been a lot of fun. I can see why you like doing it.
[ Just imagine it: Stark Industries, announcing it's all-new camping line. At the thought, Steve smiles to himself. ]
Burgers it is.
[ And as Tony talks, Steve unhooks his skillet from the outside of his pack and removes the burgers' packaging. ]
It's rewarding, isn't it? [ He says, grinning as he sets the burgers onto the skillet and kneels down next to Tony so he can hold it over the fire to cook. ]
There's just something about being out here. In nature. It's like the rest of the world doesn't exist, and all we needed to get here was our own two feet.
[ Steve realizes that he forgot to get out the spatula, so he goes to retrieve it before coming back to kneel next to Tony again. ]
So— this? Most people like to bring a metal rack of some kind. You can put it right over the fire and then set the pan down. If you ever do this without me, that's what I'd recommend. I don't mind holding it, but I imagine most people would get tired of it after a while.
[ As the fire starts to heat up the skillet, the very bottoms of the burgers start to sizzle. It's going to be at least ten minutes before they're done though. ]
As for sleeping bags, I'm willing to bet you won't have any trouble. After a day's hike and how dark it gets after the sun sets, you'd be surprised at how easy it is to fall asleep out here.
[ He grins then, mostly because he's really excited to see how Tony experiences that part. One of the biggest reasons Steve loves to camp is because of how dark it gets. Unlike the city, which is lit up 24/7, the only light they'll have out here is the moon. ]
It is. [ He chuckles. ] I never thought I’d actually enjoy camping, but I think you’re changing my mind about all this.
[ Tony watches as he begins cooking the burgers, and nods slightly as he listens to him explain what to do if he ever goes camping alone. He already highly doubts that will ever happen, but at least now he knows something new in case he ever needs it.
But really, he’s not going camping without Steve.
As Steve talks about how easy it is to fall asleep out here, he raises an eyebrow skeptically but with a smile on his face that says ‘okay we’ll see.’ Five years ago, after arriving back from his stint in space, the idea of being surrounded by darkness would terrify him after staring into the void for 23 days, but that had been another thing that living in the cabin had helped him through. He has been living far away from the city for so long that he has gotten used to the stillness and the darkness and has come to appreciate it by this point.
Still, the idea of sleeping on the ground still doesn’t quite sound ideal. He has had worse sleeping conditions in the past, of course, but still. This is the first time he’s sleeping on the ground, outdoors.
He looks up towards the sky as it changes colors, the sun disappearing and the traces of the stars coming out to greet them. If Steve looks in Tony’s direction, he’ll see the serene look on his face as he takes it all for a moment before a small smile settles on his face as he turns to Steve. ]
Thanks for camping with me. This is... I’m really enjoying this.
Thanks for saying yes. [ And it's as easy as that, isn't it? As those last hours of daylight sneak away, promising to come back again tomorrow, they're left with the warm glow of their fire and the delicious smelling sizzle of their burgers. ] Honestly Tony. [ Steve turns to him again, now with half his face illuminated by the fire. ] I'm really enjoying our time together.
[ He's not trying to make a pass. He's just ... being honest. ]
And, I'm looking forward to spending more of it, together.
[ And yes, Steve did see the serenity on Tony's face earlier. It feels like a blessing, to have been able to create an environment where that could happen. He smiles too, then, and after a brief pause to just ... soak this all in, Steve starts poking around the skillet again and flips the burgers.
When they're both completely ready, he sets the skillet down on the sand to cool as he hunts around his bag for some paper plates. He's got buns too, and he sets those out to toast while the skillet's still hot. He's also got little packets of barbecue sauce, but not a whole lot else. Still, when it's time, Steve passes a plate to Tony, with all the components of a burger laid out in front of him. ]
Me, too. [ His smile seems to grow at the admittance. ] I’m glad we’re doing this.
[ Specifically that they are spending time together, actually. Tony had been looking forward to this trip, but it’s turning out so much better than he could have expected. Is it too early to plan next weekend?
As Steve moves around to get dinner ready, Tony can’t help but just watch him. His heart feels like it’s beating faster, and for a moment he forgets about how he had been watching the sun set, but...this is better, he decides. It surprises him to think that, but it’s getting harder to ignore the more he and Steve spend time together.
With a thanks, he takes his plate and uses one of the barbecue sauce packets to spread it on the patty before taking a bite. ]
Not bad, Chef Rogers. Hell, it actually tastes pretty great.
[ When Tony tells him he's also glad they're doing this, Steve's grin gets a little bigger.
Then, as for the burger: ] The key... [ He says, as he spreads his own sauce. ] is to make sure everyone eating your burgers just hiked all day. [ He smirks. ] You'll see tomorrow morning. I'm gonna make the best damn pancakes you've ever had.
[ And while Steve could've easily moved himself to one log over, he's here anyway, so when he's finally ready to sit, he settles down on the same log as Tony. They're not touching or anything, but they're pretty close to each other. From there, Steve takes his first bite. Tony's right. Not bad. ]
Don't forget. There are marshmallows later. [ Then he takes another bite. ]
[ He laughs at Steve’s explanation as to why the food is so good, and he looks at the burger as if he’s contemplating the reasoning. ]
You think that’s what it is? And here I was going to give you all the credit. [ He grins. ] Although I am looking forward to pancakes.
[ He’s glad that Steve doesn’t pick another log to sit on, and Tony smiles to himself before taking another bite of his burger. God, he feels almost stupid smiling about this like a kid with a crush, but well, here he is.
When Steve mentions the marshmallows, though, he chuckles and smiles over at him. ]
Oh yeah. Trust me. Don't ask me to cook this when we're back at the cabin. [ He smirks. ] Just won't be the same.
[ As they eat and he sees the way Tony's smiling, Steve feels his breath hitch for a moment. How has it taken this long for Steve to understand how handsome Tony is? Especially when he smiles that way — so genuinely it hurts. ]
Oh, you can't go camping without marshmallows. [ A grin before he takes a bite. After he's done chewing: ] I also brought chocolate and graham crackers. This is the kinda stuff I used to think was the best thing in the world. God. If you saw me when I was ... eight or nine? My mom didn't really have money and I got sick a lot, so she'd find creative ways to try and cheer me up. When she first made me s'mores? Pretty sure I died a little.
[ That last part is an exaggeration, but the rest of the memory is pretty accurate — and at the thought of all of it, Steve is grinning. Despite how tough things had been, he loved his childhood. ]
Hey, it’s probably still better than how I cook so don’t sell yourself short.
[ Tony’s cooking has improved, somewhat, in the last five years since living like a hermit doesn’t really allow for a lot of takeout or places to visit, considering how far away from civilization he is. But it’s still not the best - his patience for cooking is just never good enough, plus lately he’s down his dominant arm - so really. He’s sure Steve’s cooking is still pretty damn good, even without a hike.
As he listens to Steve’s recollection of his childhood, the smile doesn’t disappear from his face. He even chuckles when Steve says that he died a little the first time his mother made s’mores, and he can’t help but smile wider at the idea of little Steve being over the moon over it. ]
I mean, I can see why. Did you two go camping or did she get creative on how to make them?
[ There’s a reason he asks, and as he’s ready to explain it, his smile gets a little shy. ]
My mom would make them over a stove. Going camping wasn’t exactly on our itineraries. So...every once in a while when I was home, we’d be in the kitchen making s’mores by the stove. Wasn’t terrible, but I’m sure they’ll taste much better over campfire.
[ When Tony asks about how his mom made s'mores for him, Steves's ready to answer, though he senses an explanation coming on and he's eager to hear it.
His own grin softens into a smile when he hears about Tony's mom and how they'd make s'mores together by the kitchen stove. ]
I'm willing to bet — that while these will taste great, nothing will beat how it tasted when you made them with your mom. [ With the way Steve says it, it's like he expects that to ring true for both of them. ]
That sounds awfully nice though, Tony. My mom and I never went camping either. She couldn't afford to take time off work and well, while I would've definitely wanted to go, I'm pretty sure she was scared I'd get cut and die of some kind of infection. To be fair, if that happened to anyone, it would've been me. Medicine wasn't anywhere close to what it's like now. [ Steve grins then. ] Soooo. We did ours over the stove too. I'm pretty sure we set the marshmallows on fire a couple times, but then I learned, that that's the key to making them taste great.
[ And as they talk and eat, Steve finds himself subconsciously inching just a little closer toward Tony. ]
[ He nods, as if to say that he's probably right. Nostalgia does add a different component to it that nothing would be able to replicate.
As Steve speaks, he listens with his own smile on his face. It's nice, he thinks, that they can share information like this between each other. Tony has never shared much about his mother - not just with Steve, but in general just because it always feels like such a personal topic for him, but right now he doesn't mind it at all.
He chuckles when Steve admits that they set the marshmallows on fire a few times, and he nods. ]
Oh yeah. The trial and error phase. But there's something that's pretty damn good about that, though.
[ Tony doesn't mind that Steve is moving closer to him, and that's part of the reason why he doesn't even notice it. As he finishes his burger, he doesn't quite notice the drop of barbacue sauce that's left on his chin. He's too busy just stretching out his legs a bit as he sighs contently. ]
...is it too soon to plan out our next trip? Or should I wait 'til morning to see if I survive the sleeping bag?
[ Steve, on the other hand, hasn't shared much about his mother, but it isn't because it's too personal. She's just never come up, and with everything the Avengers used to do day-to-day, small moments like this between them were rare.
As Tony stretches out his legs, Steve finishes his own burger too, setting the plate aside. ]
Not too soon at all. [ He answers with a content smile on his face as he puts some stuff away. ] You should come down to my apartment next time. If you don't end up liking the sleeping bag, we can do a day hike from there. [ Getting up, he goes back to his pack and grabs some napkins and hand sanitizer, so he can wipe down the pan and they can wash their hands. ] There's a beautiful mountain hike that only takes a couple hours. Then you can crash with me or stay at the lodge.
[ It's funny how, when Tony isn't in the suit and the world isn't about to end, Steve stops thinking about the suit itself as possible transportation. Because truly, if Tony wanted, he could bring his suit and just fly home. But ultimately, maybe because they are here and completely disconnected from technology, Steve's mind doesn't even go there.
When the pan is clean though, he glances back up toward Tony and sees the touch of sauce on his chin. ]
Hey— you've got a little— [ Steve gestures toward his own face and tries to point at the mirror image of where the sauce is. But when Tony tries to wipe the other side, Steve is already kneeling down in front of him, fingers adjusting the napkin in his hand to a clean spot. ] Here, actually. Let me— [ And before he knows it, Steve's wiping it off from Tony's chin himself. ]
[ Even if he doesn’t know how he’ll fare after sleeping on the ground, he doubts he’ll actually stay at the lodge. It doesn’t sound as appealing as either crashing with Steve, or sleeping in the same tent, but he keeps that to himself. Maybe one day even Tony himself would contemplate the suit as a viable transportation option to go in and out of there, but it’s not crossing his mind now, either. Partly because of his arm, but mainly because in his head it’s almost already something he has buried in his past by now.
As Steve cleans the pan, he watches the fire in content silence before he blinks over at him when he mentions he has something on his face. And he tries to get it, really, but no luck.
But suddenly Steve is there, though, and he’s more focused on him than literally anything else. He has always known Steve Rogers is a very attractive man, but...it’s hard to look away now while they’re so close to each other. Earlier he had felt so self conscious of having Steve so close to him, of him being able to see the remnants of the blast from the stones, but now he’s finding himself hoping this won’t end. That they can stay this close for just a bit longer.
He opens his mouth to say something, but it’s as if he changes his mind at the last minute before he speaks again a moment later. ]
[ It only takes three tiny wipes to get it all off. It would've only taken two, actually, if in between the first and second wipes, Steve hadn't glanced up at Tony's eyes and gotten distracted.
It goes a little something like this.
The first time, Steve is focused and manages to get most of it off at once. But he's so close to Tony now that he can't help but look up, his eyes lingering slightly as they trace over Tony's lips to his nose, then his eyes. Steve sees something then, even if he doesn't know what it is, but it's enough to plant a seed of wonder, or the possibility that maybe—
He smiles, just a little, and maybe too affectionately, as he glances back down and realizes that he's totally missed the mark with his second wipe.
His heart starts to speed up again when Tony opens his mouth to say something, and Steve lifts his eyebrows in anticipation before nothing happens. He wants to ask Tony what? but for the next few seconds, he only adjusts the napkin one last time, and actually gets the rest of the sauce off with his third and last wipe. ]
There. All gone.
[ Tony says thanks then, but Steve still doesn't move away. The fact that he's drawing this out on purposes makes his heart pound faster. But as he looks into Tony's eyes, it's almost like he's waiting, and asking, for Tony to go on. To say whatever he didn't say, earlier. ]
[ Some part of Tony’s brain tells him to not be so obvious. To look away. To not stare. But, when his eyes meet with Steve’s and he also doesn’t look away, he just...can’t help it. If anything, his heart feels like it does some sort of fluttering thing that takes him by surprise and he doesn’t know what to do with it.
Especially when he notices the affection in Steve’s eyes, the way his features seem to soften along with the look in his eyes. Is he just imagining it? For a moment he can’t help but wonder if that’s the case, if it’s just the campfire playing tricks on him, but he’s still there. Steve isn’t moving away, and it’s like he needs to remind himself to breathe again. ]
...is it bad if I really want to kiss you right now?
[ The confession comes out before he can stop it, the way Steve is looking at him disarming him in a way that he doesn’t know how to ignore it. ]
[ Even a decade ago, a question like that from Tony would've been enough to fluster Steve. But now, after fifteen years and ups and downs — of frustration and forgiveness and friendship — Steve lets out a small sigh of relief.
He hadn't even truly known it was what he was looking for until Tony asked.
Now that he has, Steve's relief is followed-up with a small shake of his head — no, it isn't bad at all — and with a subtle, hopeful smile on his lips. Steve is already close, and after he sets the napkin down on the sand, he leans himself in closer, this time completely, and utterly inside of Tony's personal space.
If by then, Tony hasn't already kissed him first, Steve will waste no more time waiting.
No matter who starts, however, Steve's reaction will be the same.
The moment their lips first touch, Steve breathes Tony in, and he kisses Tony deeply — like after all this time, he thinks they deserve to know everything and anything about each other. But the kiss is also just barely tempered, like a passion that sits perfectly on the fence guarding the realm of lust.
Both of them, however, don't seem to want to let it stop after that. Without their lips ever parting, they kiss a second, then a third time, before Steve finally breaks away with a small smile on his lips. His cheeks look a lot redder now too, but maybe it's just the way the campfire is reflected in his face. ]
Just so you know, [ He starts, his voice quiet and intimate, so that even if there's no one else here, only Tony can hear him. ] I... hadn't planned for that to happen.
[ For one brief moment of internal panic, Tony can’t help but wonder if he ruined this. Had he read the signs wrong? In the back of his head he already has excuses for how to end the night early if needed - hell, he’ll blame the painkillers he’s still on as the reason why his thoughts are so unfiltered, if they will keep things from getting awkward and uncomfortable.
But then Steve sighs, and he shakes his head, and Tony lets out a breath that he hadn’t quite realized he had been holding. And he smiles, so big and happy that it’s a wonder it doesn’t hurt.
Tony moves towards Steve at the same time, his eagerness not allowing him to wait anymore, and ultimately it doesn’t matter who kisses who first. The taste of his lips is all he can focus on, all he can soak in, and he returns the kisses in kind. God, how had they never done this? His free hand moves to rest against his chest, and unconsciously he finds himself grasping onto his shirt as if to keep this from ending.
Still, they should probably breathe. When they pull back, Tony stays close and a soft chuckle escapes his lips at Steve’s words. ]
It’s okay. I think that makes this even better. [ He ‘steals’ another quick peck. ] Now I’m glad you brought barbecue sauce with you.
[ Kissing Tony is so natural that it feels like something long overdue, and Steve feels completely enveloped by it all. He finds himself wondering too — how had they never done this? how had they waited this long? — and immediately, he can come up with a million reasons. Still, Steve smiles, because they're a million reasons that don't matter anymore.
Steve stays close too, experiencing for the first time what it means to be this close to Tony to begin with. But when Tony steals another, quick kiss, Steve finds himself breathing out a laugh. ]
I'm just glad you came at all.
[ It's still surreal — how far from this they were just a few hours ago, and where they are now. ]
I feel like... [ Steve's eyes wandering to the sand beneath them for a moment, as he works it out. He laughs again. It's still breathy and feels like with it, carries the sense that Steve still thinks this is unbelievable. ] ... lately, I just can't get enough of you.
[ His features seem to soften when he says that, just watching Steve as if he wants to memorize him. His heart feels like it might burst from happiness for a moment, but it’s the best feeling in the world and he can’t say he minds it. ]
Yeah? [ He lets go of Steve’s shirt, his hand moving up so he can run his fingers along his hair. ] I’m glad to hear that, because the feeling is mutual.
[ He smiles, a little shy for a moment about what he’s about to admit. ] ...the last few weeks, visiting you at the compound was the highlight of my week. You’re going to make it hard to top this one [ he adds with a playful smirk ] but...I’m so glad I didn’t ruin today. I was afraid I was going to make it awkward.
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noble_sentiments) wrote2019-04-28 12:02 pm
no subject
I’m, uh. No, thank you.
[ He turns to him after a moment, and he’s ready to say that they can keep moving, but then Steve talks and for a moment he doesn’t know what to say. He could lie, sure. But this probably won’t be the last time this will happen, so it’s not like he can actually lie. ]
Thanks, but unfortunately no. There’s not a whole lot that can be done.
[ He busies himself by reaching for his backpack before he gives a small smile as if to say, it’s fine. It’s okay. ]
...the damage is just. Very deep. They’ve tried to fix it, but it’s not going that great. Now I’m just waiting to see how much can be salvaged before we do...other solutions.
In the meantime, it just hurts. For the most part it’s tolerable if I don’t move it - hence the sling - but some things still just aggravate it. It can be movement, or...well, me trying to apparently use it to catch myself, even in the sling. Even if I can’t. I still forget, I guess.
[ It’s more honesty than he expected to come out, but...there it is. If they’re going to be camping and travel partners, though, maybe it’s good for Steve to know what he’s dealing with. ]
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As Tony continues to explain what's going on, Steve just keeps nodding when appropriate. He recognizes that this isn't something he should give pointers with. That no matter if it's painkillers or ice — a million people have probably told Tony to try this or that solution, and Steve guesses that Tony's tried them all.
The only other thing Steve can possibly think of, that he might try talking to Helen about when they get back, is a blood transfusion. But that's beyond his level of expertise. Helen'll know whether that's even an option and if it would even help. ]
It hasn't been that long. Makes sense that your body still forgets. [ A beat. ] For what it's worth. You're doing a pretty good job of pretending like it doesn't hurt. Had me fooled until we actually came out here, and I've been seeing you every other day for a couple of weeks.
[ He looks at Tony for a moment then. ]
Hey. Tony— Thanks for telling me.
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Yeah, it’s been an adjustment. But, I mean, things were rough for a while. Ending up with just one arm out of commission for good - that’s not that bad, compared to how it could have gone. So I’m trying to make the best of it, I guess. And I’m already working on a solution for when we get to that point where we can move on to the next step. In the meantime, I can deal with the pain on most days. My tolerance level apparently went up with all this. It’s just the random moments when it flares up that I can’t quite ignore it, or I’m having a rough day.
[ At his thanks, Tony’s smile grows a bit more. ]
Thank you for not making this awkward. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m just still...adjusting to it all, I guess.
But, if we’re going to spend more time together then it’s only fair if you know what’s going on. So...if there’s anything you want to know about it, I’ll tell you.
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Ultimately, he's just grateful that Tony's alive at all. That with the help of Strange and Wong they were able to move him directly to where he could get help. ]
Hey — it's your right to tell me or not. [ No apologies needed. ]
There is something I want to know. [ Steve rests his hands on his hips and studies Tony's sling for a moment. ] Does it hurt only when you try to move or use it? [ After a second, Steve realizes that maybe he's not being clear. ] Just- only hypothetically. If say, someone were to pick you up, would that hurt?
[ There's just a tint of pink on his cheeks near the end, because he's aware of how that question could be interpreted. But for the most part, Steve is wondering if the pain stems from the use of a muscle that Tony has control over, versus any jostling that might happen to his arm. He's asking, because it's possible they'll run into some obstacles where actually, it is easier for Steve to carry Tony instead of helping him to do it himself, and he certainly wouldn't mind doing it. ]
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He considers Steve question as he looks down at his arm. He notices the pink tint in Steve’s face, but he tries to not let himself think too much about it. ]
It’s hard to tell. It’d depend on the angle, I guess. It always hurts when I try to move it, or if there’s prolonged pressure in some areas. But some other parts, mainly from my elbow down, are just. numb.
[ It feels like it’s gone, actually, but he doesn’t want to scare him or ruin this by putting it like that.
He turns back to him, a curious tilt of his head. ]
Hypothetically, huh?
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Just hypothetically.
[ Steve knows the importance of feeling normal again, especially after an injury. He definitely doesn't want Tony to think that he's looking to literally carry him for the rest of the trip.
He's been able to tell too, ever since he took Tony out on his bike, that Pepper and Rhodey and whoever else Tony's seeing on a regular basis is treating him too much like a patient. Tony was just so excited by the idea — and Steve knows that feeling normal is half the battle when someone's in recovery. There's no way he's taking that away from Tony.
Unless of course, there are other reasons for him to carry him. But, what could those even be anyway.
***
The rest of the hike doesn't have many obstacles, except for a little tributary that runs out of the lake and cuts through the woods. The two of them need to make their way over carefully on some stones, but it all goes off with a hitch.
When the sun starts to set, they arrive at their destination — a nice spot right outside the woods and on the beach. Steve doesn't need Tony's help at all pitching the tent, just so they don't have to do it later, but he does let him help if he wants to. He'll show him how it all works too — though as he does, he's certain Tony's already designing a better, more automatic tent in his head already. Unzipping the tent flap, Steve throws the sleeping bags in there without unrolling them yet.
Next up is setting up the fire. The two of them collect rocks and wood, and Steve's somehow packed his own starter log that lights up immediately when he lights a match and throws it on top of the pile. Since it's Tony's first time, he thought it would be easier to learn this way. ]
Alright Tony. For dinner ... we have ... burgers? [ He asks, pulling out a package that looks like it used to be frozen but has thawed out from being in Steve's bag all day. ] Or hot dogs? [ Steve lifts up a second package with a couple of links inside. ]
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And yes, he is definitely finding a way to make this easier. Maybe, he thinks, he can design a tent that builds itself with just the push of a button. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?
Once the fire is going, Tony sits down on a log and smiles at Steve’s question. He really had thought of everything. ]
Burgers would be great.
You know - and I reserve the right to change my decision after sleeping on a sleeping bag - this is been a lot of fun. I can see why you like doing it.
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Burgers it is.
[ And as Tony talks, Steve unhooks his skillet from the outside of his pack and removes the burgers' packaging. ]
It's rewarding, isn't it? [ He says, grinning as he sets the burgers onto the skillet and kneels down next to Tony so he can hold it over the fire to cook. ]
There's just something about being out here. In nature. It's like the rest of the world doesn't exist, and all we needed to get here was our own two feet.
[ Steve realizes that he forgot to get out the spatula, so he goes to retrieve it before coming back to kneel next to Tony again. ]
So— this? Most people like to bring a metal rack of some kind. You can put it right over the fire and then set the pan down. If you ever do this without me, that's what I'd recommend. I don't mind holding it, but I imagine most people would get tired of it after a while.
[ As the fire starts to heat up the skillet, the very bottoms of the burgers start to sizzle. It's going to be at least ten minutes before they're done though. ]
As for sleeping bags, I'm willing to bet you won't have any trouble. After a day's hike and how dark it gets after the sun sets, you'd be surprised at how easy it is to fall asleep out here.
[ He grins then, mostly because he's really excited to see how Tony experiences that part. One of the biggest reasons Steve loves to camp is because of how dark it gets. Unlike the city, which is lit up 24/7, the only light they'll have out here is the moon. ]
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[ Tony watches as he begins cooking the burgers, and nods slightly as he listens to him explain what to do if he ever goes camping alone. He already highly doubts that will ever happen, but at least now he knows something new in case he ever needs it.
But really, he’s not going camping without Steve.
As Steve talks about how easy it is to fall asleep out here, he raises an eyebrow skeptically but with a smile on his face that says ‘okay we’ll see.’ Five years ago, after arriving back from his stint in space, the idea of being surrounded by darkness would terrify him after staring into the void for 23 days, but that had been another thing that living in the cabin had helped him through. He has been living far away from the city for so long that he has gotten used to the stillness and the darkness and has come to appreciate it by this point.
Still, the idea of sleeping on the ground still doesn’t quite sound ideal. He has had worse sleeping conditions in the past, of course, but still. This is the first time he’s sleeping on the ground, outdoors.
He looks up towards the sky as it changes colors, the sun disappearing and the traces of the stars coming out to greet them. If Steve looks in Tony’s direction, he’ll see the serene look on his face as he takes it all for a moment before a small smile settles on his face as he turns to Steve. ]
Thanks for camping with me. This is... I’m really enjoying this.
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[ He's not trying to make a pass. He's just ... being honest. ]
And, I'm looking forward to spending more of it, together.
[ And yes, Steve did see the serenity on Tony's face earlier. It feels like a blessing, to have been able to create an environment where that could happen. He smiles too, then, and after a brief pause to just ... soak this all in, Steve starts poking around the skillet again and flips the burgers.
When they're both completely ready, he sets the skillet down on the sand to cool as he hunts around his bag for some paper plates. He's got buns too, and he sets those out to toast while the skillet's still hot. He's also got little packets of barbecue sauce, but not a whole lot else. Still, when it's time, Steve passes a plate to Tony, with all the components of a burger laid out in front of him. ]
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[ Specifically that they are spending time together, actually. Tony had been looking forward to this trip, but it’s turning out so much better than he could have expected. Is it too early to plan next weekend?
As Steve moves around to get dinner ready, Tony can’t help but just watch him. His heart feels like it’s beating faster, and for a moment he forgets about how he had been watching the sun set, but...this is better, he decides. It surprises him to think that, but it’s getting harder to ignore the more he and Steve spend time together.
With a thanks, he takes his plate and uses one of the barbecue sauce packets to spread it on the patty before taking a bite. ]
Not bad, Chef Rogers. Hell, it actually tastes pretty great.
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Then, as for the burger: ] The key... [ He says, as he spreads his own sauce. ] is to make sure everyone eating your burgers just hiked all day. [ He smirks. ] You'll see tomorrow morning. I'm gonna make the best damn pancakes you've ever had.
[ And while Steve could've easily moved himself to one log over, he's here anyway, so when he's finally ready to sit, he settles down on the same log as Tony. They're not touching or anything, but they're pretty close to each other. From there, Steve takes his first bite. Tony's right. Not bad. ]
Don't forget. There are marshmallows later. [ Then he takes another bite. ]
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You think that’s what it is? And here I was going to give you all the credit. [ He grins. ] Although I am looking forward to pancakes.
[ He’s glad that Steve doesn’t pick another log to sit on, and Tony smiles to himself before taking another bite of his burger. God, he feels almost stupid smiling about this like a kid with a crush, but well, here he is.
When Steve mentions the marshmallows, though, he chuckles and smiles over at him. ]
You actually brought marshmallows?
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[ As they eat and he sees the way Tony's smiling, Steve feels his breath hitch for a moment. How has it taken this long for Steve to understand how handsome Tony is? Especially when he smiles that way — so genuinely it hurts. ]
Oh, you can't go camping without marshmallows. [ A grin before he takes a bite. After he's done chewing: ] I also brought chocolate and graham crackers. This is the kinda stuff I used to think was the best thing in the world. God. If you saw me when I was ... eight or nine? My mom didn't really have money and I got sick a lot, so she'd find creative ways to try and cheer me up. When she first made me s'mores? Pretty sure I died a little.
[ That last part is an exaggeration, but the rest of the memory is pretty accurate — and at the thought of all of it, Steve is grinning. Despite how tough things had been, he loved his childhood. ]
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[ Tony’s cooking has improved, somewhat, in the last five years since living like a hermit doesn’t really allow for a lot of takeout or places to visit, considering how far away from civilization he is. But it’s still not the best - his patience for cooking is just never good enough, plus lately he’s down his dominant arm - so really. He’s sure Steve’s cooking is still pretty damn good, even without a hike.
As he listens to Steve’s recollection of his childhood, the smile doesn’t disappear from his face. He even chuckles when Steve says that he died a little the first time his mother made s’mores, and he can’t help but smile wider at the idea of little Steve being over the moon over it. ]
I mean, I can see why. Did you two go camping or did she get creative on how to make them?
[ There’s a reason he asks, and as he’s ready to explain it, his smile gets a little shy. ]
My mom would make them over a stove. Going camping wasn’t exactly on our itineraries. So...every once in a while when I was home, we’d be in the kitchen making s’mores by the stove. Wasn’t terrible, but I’m sure they’ll taste much better over campfire.
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His own grin softens into a smile when he hears about Tony's mom and how they'd make s'mores together by the kitchen stove. ]
I'm willing to bet — that while these will taste great, nothing will beat how it tasted when you made them with your mom. [ With the way Steve says it, it's like he expects that to ring true for both of them. ]
That sounds awfully nice though, Tony. My mom and I never went camping either. She couldn't afford to take time off work and well, while I would've definitely wanted to go, I'm pretty sure she was scared I'd get cut and die of some kind of infection. To be fair, if that happened to anyone, it would've been me. Medicine wasn't anywhere close to what it's like now. [ Steve grins then. ] Soooo. We did ours over the stove too. I'm pretty sure we set the marshmallows on fire a couple times, but then I learned, that that's the key to making them taste great.
[ And as they talk and eat, Steve finds himself subconsciously inching just a little closer toward Tony. ]
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As Steve speaks, he listens with his own smile on his face. It's nice, he thinks, that they can share information like this between each other. Tony has never shared much about his mother - not just with Steve, but in general just because it always feels like such a personal topic for him, but right now he doesn't mind it at all.
He chuckles when Steve admits that they set the marshmallows on fire a few times, and he nods. ]
Oh yeah. The trial and error phase. But there's something that's pretty damn good about that, though.
[ Tony doesn't mind that Steve is moving closer to him, and that's part of the reason why he doesn't even notice it. As he finishes his burger, he doesn't quite notice the drop of barbacue sauce that's left on his chin. He's too busy just stretching out his legs a bit as he sighs contently. ]
...is it too soon to plan out our next trip? Or should I wait 'til morning to see if I survive the sleeping bag?
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As Tony stretches out his legs, Steve finishes his own burger too, setting the plate aside. ]
Not too soon at all. [ He answers with a content smile on his face as he puts some stuff away. ] You should come down to my apartment next time. If you don't end up liking the sleeping bag, we can do a day hike from there. [ Getting up, he goes back to his pack and grabs some napkins and hand sanitizer, so he can wipe down the pan and they can wash their hands. ] There's a beautiful mountain hike that only takes a couple hours. Then you can crash with me or stay at the lodge.
[ It's funny how, when Tony isn't in the suit and the world isn't about to end, Steve stops thinking about the suit itself as possible transportation. Because truly, if Tony wanted, he could bring his suit and just fly home. But ultimately, maybe because they are here and completely disconnected from technology, Steve's mind doesn't even go there.
When the pan is clean though, he glances back up toward Tony and sees the touch of sauce on his chin. ]
Hey— you've got a little— [ Steve gestures toward his own face and tries to point at the mirror image of where the sauce is. But when Tony tries to wipe the other side, Steve is already kneeling down in front of him, fingers adjusting the napkin in his hand to a clean spot. ] Here, actually. Let me— [ And before he knows it, Steve's wiping it off from Tony's chin himself. ]
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[ Even if he doesn’t know how he’ll fare after sleeping on the ground, he doubts he’ll actually stay at the lodge. It doesn’t sound as appealing as either crashing with Steve, or sleeping in the same tent, but he keeps that to himself. Maybe one day even Tony himself would contemplate the suit as a viable transportation option to go in and out of there, but it’s not crossing his mind now, either. Partly because of his arm, but mainly because in his head it’s almost already something he has buried in his past by now.
As Steve cleans the pan, he watches the fire in content silence before he blinks over at him when he mentions he has something on his face. And he tries to get it, really, but no luck.
But suddenly Steve is there, though, and he’s more focused on him than literally anything else. He has always known Steve Rogers is a very attractive man, but...it’s hard to look away now while they’re so close to each other. Earlier he had felt so self conscious of having Steve so close to him, of him being able to see the remnants of the blast from the stones, but now he’s finding himself hoping this won’t end. That they can stay this close for just a bit longer.
He opens his mouth to say something, but it’s as if he changes his mind at the last minute before he speaks again a moment later. ]
Thanks.
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It goes a little something like this.
The first time, Steve is focused and manages to get most of it off at once. But he's so close to Tony now that he can't help but look up, his eyes lingering slightly as they trace over Tony's lips to his nose, then his eyes. Steve sees something then, even if he doesn't know what it is, but it's enough to plant a seed of wonder, or the possibility that maybe—
He smiles, just a little, and maybe too affectionately, as he glances back down and realizes that he's totally missed the mark with his second wipe.
His heart starts to speed up again when Tony opens his mouth to say something, and Steve lifts his eyebrows in anticipation before nothing happens. He wants to ask Tony what? but for the next few seconds, he only adjusts the napkin one last time, and actually gets the rest of the sauce off with his third and last wipe. ]
There. All gone.
[ Tony says thanks then, but Steve still doesn't move away. The fact that he's drawing this out on purposes makes his heart pound faster. But as he looks into Tony's eyes, it's almost like he's waiting, and asking, for Tony to go on. To say whatever he didn't say, earlier. ]
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Especially when he notices the affection in Steve’s eyes, the way his features seem to soften along with the look in his eyes. Is he just imagining it? For a moment he can’t help but wonder if that’s the case, if it’s just the campfire playing tricks on him, but he’s still there. Steve isn’t moving away, and it’s like he needs to remind himself to breathe again. ]
...is it bad if I really want to kiss you right now?
[ The confession comes out before he can stop it, the way Steve is looking at him disarming him in a way that he doesn’t know how to ignore it. ]
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He hadn't even truly known it was what he was looking for until Tony asked.
Now that he has, Steve's relief is followed-up with a small shake of his head — no, it isn't bad at all — and with a subtle, hopeful smile on his lips. Steve is already close, and after he sets the napkin down on the sand, he leans himself in closer, this time completely, and utterly inside of Tony's personal space.
If by then, Tony hasn't already kissed him first, Steve will waste no more time waiting.
No matter who starts, however, Steve's reaction will be the same.
The moment their lips first touch, Steve breathes Tony in, and he kisses Tony deeply — like after all this time, he thinks they deserve to know everything and anything about each other. But the kiss is also just barely tempered, like a passion that sits perfectly on the fence guarding the realm of lust.
Both of them, however, don't seem to want to let it stop after that. Without their lips ever parting, they kiss a second, then a third time, before Steve finally breaks away with a small smile on his lips. His cheeks look a lot redder now too, but maybe it's just the way the campfire is reflected in his face. ]
Just so you know, [ He starts, his voice quiet and intimate, so that even if there's no one else here, only Tony can hear him. ] I... hadn't planned for that to happen.
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But then Steve sighs, and he shakes his head, and Tony lets out a breath that he hadn’t quite realized he had been holding. And he smiles, so big and happy that it’s a wonder it doesn’t hurt.
Tony moves towards Steve at the same time, his eagerness not allowing him to wait anymore, and ultimately it doesn’t matter who kisses who first. The taste of his lips is all he can focus on, all he can soak in, and he returns the kisses in kind. God, how had they never done this? His free hand moves to rest against his chest, and unconsciously he finds himself grasping onto his shirt as if to keep this from ending.
Still, they should probably breathe. When they pull back, Tony stays close and a soft chuckle escapes his lips at Steve’s words. ]
It’s okay. I think that makes this even better. [ He ‘steals’ another quick peck. ] Now I’m glad you brought barbecue sauce with you.
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Steve stays close too, experiencing for the first time what it means to be this close to Tony to begin with. But when Tony steals another, quick kiss, Steve finds himself breathing out a laugh. ]
I'm just glad you came at all.
[ It's still surreal — how far from this they were just a few hours ago, and where they are now. ]
I feel like... [ Steve's eyes wandering to the sand beneath them for a moment, as he works it out. He laughs again. It's still breathy and feels like with it, carries the sense that Steve still thinks this is unbelievable. ] ... lately, I just can't get enough of you.
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[ His features seem to soften when he says that, just watching Steve as if he wants to memorize him. His heart feels like it might burst from happiness for a moment, but it’s the best feeling in the world and he can’t say he minds it. ]
Yeah? [ He lets go of Steve’s shirt, his hand moving up so he can run his fingers along his hair. ] I’m glad to hear that, because the feeling is mutual.
[ He smiles, a little shy for a moment about what he’s about to admit. ] ...the last few weeks, visiting you at the compound was the highlight of my week. You’re going to make it hard to top this one [ he adds with a playful smirk ] but...I’m so glad I didn’t ruin today. I was afraid I was going to make it awkward.
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you should feel free to montage a bit if you want
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meanwhile, this mun took a nap on a couch
mmm nap 😴
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omg I'm so sorry my previous tag had so many typos
you’re fine! sorry about mine too though, that’s what i get for posting too early the in morning
SAME
❤️
wow I also didn't mean to say "his feels" b/c Steve is not a millenial
it’s what being around each other does to them, they are going crazy ;)
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feel free to go vague and let time pass, I'm starting to set that up
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they're so soft and cute
yesss they’re adorable ❤️
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